Friday, November 1, 2013

Now we know the whole story...

For the last few months we have been working with our little Jared on getting his neck and back muscles strong so his head would be able to turn properly.  This was all caused by, Torticollis.

But just that one symptom didn't seem to cover what was happening with my baby.  At nine months, he can't sit up or stand or even push himself up with his arms very well.  At first I thought this was all do to the Torticollis.  But I was wrong.

I decided to take many of your advice and call, Kids on the Move.  They have been fantastic.

And now we know, Jared also has, Low Muscle Tone throughout his entire body.

While this could be genetic, I found out today that it could be from the meth he received during his first trimester.  Once again, I'm heart broken.

I will admit, this is one of the hardest aspects of having to adopt my children.  Knowing that I could have given him a safe and healthy start is maddening.  That we wouldn't be here working with him for hours, days, weeks and months to bring him up to speed, is overwhelming for me right now.

But, I realize even then, there is no guarantee.  Even the most diligent mothers-to-be have children with disabilities and health problems.

That is why, in the end, I am grateful for my faith.

I do know that God has a plan for all of us.  And sometimes his plan is for us to have physical impairments right from the start.  Sometimes those impairments are for ourselves and sometimes its for those around us who grow in love and compassion. Jared's sweet loving attitude and amazingly happy spirit make my life so much brighter.  I just hope and plead that with all this work we are doing, and will be doing, with two physical therapists, he will get better and be stronger.  And that, one day, he will be able to live a normal, happy life.

I am grateful to all my friends who have helped me by sharing their own experiences with their little ones.  I know we are not alone in this journey.  Thank you, to all who have been there for us.  It has meant so much to me.

Lots of love,

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