Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Mean Girls Don't Like Colors

Yesterday I came across two posts that literally broke my heart.  While I know most of us, while growing up, will go through a bit of teasing.  I know I was made fun of for being so tall and having freckles....

....But no one should go through being bullied.  No one.

It is amazing to me how kids find those things that are part of our identity, things that we are born with and laugh at it like we had any choice.  "Ha ha, you're tall!"  "Ha ha, you have a big nose!"  "Ha ha, you're black!"  "Ha ha, you have red hair!"

It was interesting to read these two posts.  Both were being targeted for their skin.  One is white with cute freckles and the other has black skin.

What is it about color that makes people so mean?

The first post shared how this sweet little girl with black skin is called dirty, fat and mean because of her race.  The parents of her peers labeled her before she had a chance to be herself and show others who she really is.

Their cruelty upset me more than I imagined.

Being a parent of a child who happens to be African American, my mama bear instincts came out.
How can we live in a world where people hate people because of their color?  How can we, as a society, continue this charade of racism in our homes?

I had a teacher at BYU once talk about my upcoming marriage to my husband in one of my classes.  He was candid and honest and said that he would struggle if his daughter were to marry a black man.  We then opened it up for discussion....he admitted he had a little racism in his heart and he was ashamed by it, but it didn't change how he felt.  I wasn't offended.  But it made me think, how many more of him are there out there...with our discussion I found there were a few.

Will my sweet children, especially my Lia, have limited options in marriage because many are still hung up with their limited love for others not of their own race?

The answer to that is, yes.

Knowing that there are little girls/boys who call said children, the "N" word or dirty, fat and mean because of their color, my sweet daughters have a harder road ahead.  Because they will not only deal with the meanness of their peers, but with the racism of their peers' parents.






The second post was equally as horrible.  This sweet little girl, who I know to be beautiful inside and out, has a few girls as school telling her to her face, that she isn't beautiful.  What?!  She has beautiful red hair, a gorgeous face and her smile lights up a room.  And yet these ruthless, unloving girls are hell bent on making her see herself as otherwise.  Why do mean girls hate color?

Maybe because, they have none.

These mean, ruthless, colorless girls come from mean ruthless colorless homes.  While I am sure some mean children may have parents who care, most, in my opinion, don't.  They learn their "mean" lessons at home.  Their own parents are tearing them down or tearing down others in their sight.

I wish I had an answer when it comes to dealing with these kinds of parents...but I don't.  I guess we can hug our children a little more, try to tell them and teach them their true worth, but I think we just need to be there as a listening ear or get help when needed.

In the end, we will never be able to protect our children from the cruelty of this world.  And hopefully through these lessons our children will grow to be stronger and more empathetic to others' pain.

I believe the best defense we can give our children against a cruel world is a healthy love for themselves.

And the only way we can teach our children this lesson is for us to love ourselves....

No matter what colors you are made of, you are beautiful.


Lots of love,
Niki


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