Thursday, September 5, 2013

My Take on Mrs. Hall

So many of you have shared the, Mrs. Hall's, "If You are a Teenage Girl" post.  I found it interesting to read all of the comments, as so many of you had so MANY different reactions about something I think our society has had issues with for many many years: helping our daughters understand their true self-worth.

Too many of us girls go through teenage-dome with only one thought on our mind: boys, and how do I get one to like me.  I know I did.  I was obsessed with boys.  This one question went through my mind constantly: am I pretty enough?

I will admit, I didn't think I was.  So I thought (based on what I saw on TV and in magazines) the only way to get the attention of these boys was to dress so they would notice me.  I wore my shorts a little short, my shirt a little tight, I stood how I think they would want me to stand, I tried my best to get their attention in any way that I could.

Now I wasn't a girl who did drugs or smoked or drank alcohol.  I was an honor student, I played sports, I had lot of friends and overall LOVED high school.  The one thing I wish I could take back, however, was how I viewed myself.

Now, Mrs. Hall, I get what you are saying.  I don't want to see young girls flaunting themselves around like objects to be had.  I don't think it is fair for the boys in our lives to be overwhelmed with visual pleasure they didn't seek to find.  I get that the standards for her boys' girlfriends are high...but it goes both ways.  Do our boys seek for those girls who are modest and pure?  And instead of shunning those who are not up to par with our standards, maybe our sweet boys could help them see where their true beauty really lies.  We all want our daughters to be of high standards.  Our sons will help dictate that as well.

Now, I have three girls and one son.  No way do I want my son hanging around girls who think of themselves as sex objects.  I also don't want my daughters thinking of themselves that way.  But who's fault is it really?  The girls?  The boys?  The parents?  Our society?  Of course, its a little of everything.  Even the most perfect parent can't make their child do the right thing all of the time.  In fact, a young girls' friends (especially the boys) will have the most influence over said daughter and what she does and how she sees herself.

So, Mrs. Hall, I am going to turn the tables a little.  Maybe if we teach our boys to respect and compliment those girls who are modest, smart and kind, more girls would follow suit.  Maybe if the boys of Mrs. Hall's boy's generation could make a girl see her true self-worth without her having to take off her clothes, the dynamic would change.

As a parent of three girls, I pray daily that my daughters will grow up knowing that they are truly a daughter of God (no matter what you call Him) we are His creatures.  We are His to follow and to try to emulate.

For every girl out there who thinks that wearing tight clothes and short shorts is what these boys really want (at least the boys who are worth having) you couldn't be more wrong.  Yes, ALL boys will look. Yes, some may want to kiss you or date you once or twice, but they will not be looking for anything long term...I promise.  Any boy who is worth having is a boy who looks beyond the body and sexual appeal.  Any boy worth having is a boy who wants to keep you pure and modest.  Any boy worth having is a boy with his own set of good values who isn't swayed by anyone.  Even you.  Girls, love yourselves.  Be honest and true to yourselves.  Don't let any boy dictate what you are really worth.  If he truly loves you, you are worth waiting for.


Lets all work together to save our daughters and our sons.  Let's all help them see who they really are and what true beauty really means.  Our society is flawed, it always has been.  Let's be proactive parents, teachers, and friends.

Lots of love,
Niki