Thursday, May 16, 2013

She made me a mother...

I think there is something special about your first child, of course this doesn't mean that you love this child more than your others, but your first child is the one who made you a mother.  This child is the one who breaks you into the craziness and joy that is being a mother.  They are your guinea-pig for everything you do as a mother.  You count on them, you are harder on them and you find yourself learning how much you really don't know as a mother because of them.

Hannah is my oldest.


I couldn't have asked for a better "oldest" child.

She is loving, kind, smart, helpful, funny, (mostly) obedient, spiritual, and beautiful inside and out.

My Hannah made me a mother.


I have said this before and I will say it again, I always wanted to be a mother and as soon as Flavio and I were married we felt that we should try to build our family.

Of course, after a year of trying, I still wasn't a mother.

So we turned to In Vitro and after the first round, I still was not a mother.

Then we did a second round, I still was not a mother.

But I wasn't going to give up.

After our third try at In Vitro I heard the most wonderful and joyful words from our doctor,

"You're pregnant!"

And this little bundle of sweetness came into our lives and made us parents.



We named her Hannah, which means, "gift from God".

She was a true miracle and gift to us.

And now my little miracle is seven.


And I still can't believe seven years have gone by.

This little spirit has brought me more joy and love than I could have ever asked for.

I love you, Hannah!

Happy Happy Birthday to the most amazing seven year old in my life!

Lots of love,
Mom







Tuesday, May 7, 2013

An Unmade Bed

There is something about getting my bed made every day that makes me feel like I actually accomplished something.  I know it sounds crazy, but that is how I feel.

So today when I went into my room it was 3:40 and I noticed I hadn't made my bed.

I thought to myself, have I done anything today?



So I really thought about it... (and this is in no way to brag, I have a point, so bear with me)

First, I woke up at 3:00 am to feed my little guy.  He has made that a regular for the last week or so.  So once I got him fed and burped, it was about 3:30.  Then, I went back to bed.

 I woke up to my 2 year old crying for us at 6:30 am and we were up for the day.

I did Hannah's hair, got Eva and Lia breakfast and sent Hannah and Flavio off.

I then fed Jared again.

And I ate.

After that, I gave both Eva and Lia a bath, letting them play awhile.  Once we were done, I got Lia ready for school.  I decided to french braid her hair, which is not an easy task, but she loves it, so we did it and then finished with Eva's hair.

Then I loaded everyone in the van and we were off to Lia's school, after I took a few minutes to freshen up.

Straight from Lia's school I took Jared and Eva to the grocery store.  Eva didn't make it easy.  She loves to get in and out of the cart and gets angry when I don't do as she desires....

We then came home and I put all the groceries away.

Then I loaded everyone back in the car and we went to get Lia from school.

Once we got home, I made lunch for Eva and Lia and fed Jared again.  I got them all down for a nap and made my own lunch.  With a few minutes for myself, I decided to call my mom as I needed a little adult time.  That usually takes up about an hour ;)

After I talked to my mom I picked up a around the house did a little laundry and made an important phone call.

Then I woke both Lia and Eva up so we could go pick up Hannah from her school in American Fork.

Once we got back, I spent time with Hannah and her homework, did a few more chores and that is when I found my bed...unmade with the pillows on the floor.

But, once I went through all that I had done in my head, I realized the bed being unmade wasn't really that big of deal after all.  Of course I made it, it makes me feel better when I do.

I then loaded everyone back in the car and off to Hannah's dance class we went.

I guess I really did do something today.

My point here is, I'm too hard on myself as a mother and housewife sometimes.  It's hard to see what we have done somedays, as there is little concrete evidence of how we may have spent our time...but we do so much every day: spending time with our kids, doing things for them, ie changing diapers, doing hair, giving baths, getting them dressed, getting them snacks, breaking up fights and tantrums, making sure they are fed, clothed and educated.  Not to mention any play time we spend with them.  We do house work, cleaning bathrooms, cooking, doing dishes, getting kids to the doctor, school and other activities.  We help neighbors and family, we have play dates and chats with friends.

In the end, you have done more than you know.

I hope that I can learn from this and I hope you can too.  Just because your bed isn't made doesn't mean you haven't done anything productive that day...it just means you didn't get to making the bed.

Lots of love,
Niki

Friday, May 3, 2013

Adoption vs. Abortion

This has been in the news lately, and I wanted to share my thoughts....


Adoption vs abortion may seem like an easy choice for most of us.

It would be so easy to say, "Of course I will give this baby life and give him/her to total strangers...."
(lots of sarcasm here)

Now don't get me wrong, with my life's experiences, I am definitely PRO-LIFE.

However, just like most complex issues in this world, nothing is really black or white. 

Of course the moral of it is, black or white.

For example:

Abortion is murder.  Unless there are health issues or psychological issues.
while...
Adoption gives life and most of the time blesses all involved.

Thus one can conclude that Abortion is bad
and Adoption is good.

However...

Try being in that woman's shoes who has to choose.

(Just a side note, this post does not sympathize with those women/men who are pro-choice for no other reason than to think abortion isn't murder or that their lifestyle means more than any fetus's.  I will never agree with their ideals of what "life" is and that the baby doesn't have any say.  This post is only for all of us to look at how broken our society is when comes to this topic and how we can change the rhetoric)

First, I don't blame the government, abortion happens everywhere with every government...the government is just trying to control who they will end up feeding and supporting for the rest of our lives.

I blame us.

I blame our inability to talk about complex issues with those who need it most, our children.

We live in a society today where selfishness and responsibility are trying to go hand in hand.

The world says,

"Be responsible, don't do anything wrong!"

"But if you do, fix it so it doesn't bother the rest of us."

After going through 10 years of infertility I had to overcome my anger towards...every pregnant teenage girl I saw, or the pregnant women I saw smoking a cigarette or the ones I didn't see who did drugs or drank alcohol or the millions of babies born and left in orphanages without love or a family, and of course my anger towards any woman who felt abortion is an option...with that, I feel I have somewhat to say on this subject. 

From the beginning of time, children have disobeyed.
Why do we think just teaching our kids NOT to do something will work?

For instance, I taught for a few years about adoption and spoke briefly about abortion in one of our local high schools every May...

...Many parents had their child removed from the class for my presentation.

Every year, five or six kids would be dismissed and then I could start, and every year I was amazed.

How is NOT talking about it going to ever help these kids make a more informed decision?


So I hope we are not too quick to judge...

...Many of these girls and women are pressured by those they trust most.

Let's work harder at talking about the subject.  Let's get ourselves educated for our own children's sake.
We cannot control what our children will do, what mistakes they will make...and they will make mistakes....  But we can control what they learn in our home and whether or not they feel they can trust us...with anything.

Both my Lia and my Jared's birthmothers were told to abort by people they trusted.
Both were left alone, and both contemplated doing it.

We are eternally grateful neither one decided to listen.

But many do.


When the world told them to abort,
Our birthmothers chose to give us life.
And now the world is truly a better place,
because we are still in it.

While I will always be pro-life,  I now feel sorry for those who don't know better or who feel pressure to FIX it.

 I know God has a plan for each of us and he will care for all of the spirits who are taken too soon.

He loves all of us.  Whether we deserve it or not.
And whether you think someone does or not, is not your place.
Let's be a comforting hand, a hand that helps these scared girls to know there is another choice, and then help them through it.

Lots of love,
Niki