Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My Choice To Stay Home

I grew up with a mom that worked, her mother worked and so did most of my aunts.  I grew up with friends who had mothers that worked and mothers that stayed home.  

In honesty, growing up, I never really thought about whether or not staying at home was the thing for me.  Everyone always asked me what do you want to be when you grow up?
 I never had heard anyone say, "a stay-at-home-mom" before, so it never really crossed my mind.

So I would say, "a teacher" or "a nurse", the ones most girls say.  (no offense to the guy teachers or nurses)

Later on, I wanted to be an architect, I even started going to college for that one.

But as I got older, I realized what I really wanted to do.  I realized in my heart what I really, truly wanted.

To be a stay-at-home-mom.

Now, don't get me wrong here with this post.  Most, if not all of you, who read my blog realize I do not sit very far right on the political side.  I tend to lean a little to the left...but I would say more in the middle. So this post is not about politics or even religion.  

It is about choice.

I am not coming out against women who want to work, or of course, have to work.  I know how this world works.  However, I read a very disturbing article today that demonized MY choice to be a stay-at-home-mom.  The article was about what Anne Summers will be sharing in her new book, (which I won't advertise).  It discribes "my kind" to be, "Yummy Mummies".  She looks at my day as sorting socks, making crafts and cleaning out my linen closets.

I will be honest.  This bothered me a lot.

I went to college.  I have a degree in International Communications.  I speak Japanese.  I have traveled.  I read a lot of books.  I stay up on my current events.  I feel I have not "regressed" the women's rights movement as she put it, but I have made a choice based on my right to do what I wanted most for myself and more importantly for my family.

Now, I know that staying at home with my children has not been all that I thought it would be.  In fact there are days where I wish I could run away screaming.  But I worked before I had kids, and there were plenty of days I wanted to run away from those jobs as well.

I guess what I really want to say is this, regardless of what we choose, we should not look down on anyone for their choice.  For all of you working mothers out there, I respect your decision as I hope you respect mine.  

I feel the most important part of the "women's suffrage" and the "women's rights" movements wasn't about us becoming equal to men, it was about allowing us to choose what we want for ourselves and hopefully what is best for our families.  It was about allowing us to be partners in raising a future generation.  It is not to do exactly what the men were already doing.  I am not a man.  I don't want to be one.  I love being a woman.  And I love being a mother.  

In closing, I hope that as a people we can really stop all this judging.  Stop judging people because of their religion, their color, their politics and their choices.

It isn't our place to judge others...unless it threatens our family's safety.

I am proud of my job.  I love my kids.  I love my family.  This was my choice my decision.  I am a strong woman with very strong opinions.  I am grateful for this trait although I consider it both my strength and my weakness.

And because of that strength, I will never be embarrassed to answer the question of, "what do you do?" with, "I am a stay-at-home mom."

Lots of love,


  1. Well said! Little does Anne Summers know, that sorting socks can turn into a "turn the house upside down looking for the missing ones" really quickly!