Sunday, September 23, 2012

The Choice to Adopt

So many people have asked me, why did you adopt, when you can have a baby through IVF?  That is a good question.  Although I am always shocked that people feel okay asking someone a question like that.... I used to get mad and think, "what business is of yours?" or "how insensitive are you?"  But as time has gone on, I realize that most people are not trying to be mean or judgmental, they are just not educated in the concept of infertility.

Unfortunately, adoption is still a little tabu for people to talk about, like it is a bad word or if you talk about it, it will make those of us involved feel bad. And I understand this, because for so many years adoption was kept a secret from the kids and the birth-mothers involved.  It wasn't talked about openly as it is slowly starting to now.  No one ever really knew when a child was adopted.  But, luckily, times are changing.  Now a family can be as open with the birth family as they want.  The children are not left with so many unanswered questions.  And instead of the adoption being a secret, it is just a part of the child's identity.  It is a part of them that is unique and special.  From our experience, this child has been loved by so many people before they even are placed in the adopted parent's arms.  The whole process of adoption, is about love.  Selfless love.  

I saw it with my Lia.

As a parent of an adopted child, I will tell you, we chose to adopt because that is what felt right.  Flavio and I have a special opportunity to pray about each child that comes to us.  We have to really work hard to bring these little beings into our family.  There are no surprises (although I have never wanted a surprise more in my life) and I feel that each baby is given for a special reason to each family, and it is up to that family to seek out why they received such a gift.  However, the fact that I get to pray, work, ponder, hope, show faith and then pray, work and hope some more, I feel that I have been given a great gift of knowing without a doubt each of my babies belong to me, no matter how they come and even when they drive me crazy, I have that knowledge that they came to us for a special reason.  This is an amazing confidence to own.

Adoption is a very personal decision.  There are so many babies and children who need a loving home and I feel that God has made it possible through our trial of infertility to make what may seem like a hopeless situation for those birth-parents who are not sure they can support their baby, into an amazing miracle of love, sacrifice, acceptance, and hope for a better future for all those involved.

I am so grateful for the gift of adoption.

That is why we are going to do it again!

We are so excited!  Please help us spread the word!

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